TT – I took a chance and agreed to an assignment with Invaders for Carnival 2019. The result is a new, sweet, exciting love which is so emotionally conflicting that I break out in cold sweat.
My “puppy love” had been for the band of my birthplace in East Dry River: Despers. Then history unfolded and I accepted the position of corporate communications manager at Witco (West Indian Tobacco Company) where I had responsibility for Desperadoes. I attempted to mold that puppy love into the perfection that existed only in my own head. The result, a failure that continues to haunt my existence. It was like a novice trying to ride and tame a wild horse.
Despite the availability of money and huge passion, my Despers experiment failed mainly because the band was in search of a “new man with a hammer.” At the end of my tour of duty, I had a palpable dislike for pan except for the adrenaline rush which Panorama produces, complete with increased heart beat and increased physical capacity.
Over the years, I have kept a distance from pan except for the annual foray into the panyards, which always ended with me proudly wearing my Despers T-shirt at Panorama semi-finals in the North Stand, pretending to be some kind of “bad-john” Despers supporter.
Over the years my love has been growing cold because the band has not changed and has become what I describe as the “vagrant band,” bouncing from one home to another in Port of Spain, running from its own children.